Checking In

I want to thank all my blog friends who sent comments and/or email this past week. Your encouragement and support have meant a great deal to me. Those of you whose blogs I regularly read probably know I have been scarce and have some catching up to do. I am more exhausted than I have been in four years, so my blog reading and posting has slipped a bit. Believe me, I miss reading your blogs tremendously and will get up to speed shortly.

Last Monday was only my third day at my new job, but my supervisor as well as the president showed an amazing amount of understanding regarding the situation with my dad. They allowed me to take time off on Monday to go to the hospital and arrange for my dad's care. They simply said I could make up the time later in the week. My dad's doctor recommended either a nursing home or hospice with home care. We all felt the latter was better and my dad has definitely felt the decision was a good one. I signed papers for him Monday afternoon and spent Monday evening moving furniture out of his bedroom so the hospice company could bring in a hospital bed, oxygen machine, and so forth. He was discharged from the hospital Tuesday afternoon and I could tell he was quite glad to be home. It was hard to try to move him around on the bed. He was in so much pain that every little movement made him cry out, but he kept complaining about his body being crooked and twisted. It was a lose-lose situation. Despite his extreme weight loss it was still not a small task to move him. He can barely move his legs and sometimes looks underneath the sheets to see if they are still there. The cancer must be so bad in his spine that it is affecting nerves and feeling. The home care people are changing his diapers as well as rotating him every couple of hours to prevent bed sores. He was in extreme pain Tuesday night and Wednesday, but Thursday and Friday were better. I worked more hours those days and then went straight over to my parents' house to stay by his side. Yesterday and today my dad has been on a much higher dosage of morphine, so he has been drifting in and out of consciousness. My brother came into town this weekend so the whole family was able to spend time around my dad's bed. We talked about various things and every once in a while my dad would open his eyes and contribute to the conversations. Sometimes it made sense, sometimes it didn't, but we were all together. I have been sleep deprived and even fell asleep at the wheel this morning, but fortunately there were no oncoming cars when I drifted to the other side of the road. I just pumped myself full of more coffee and stayed by my dad's side all day. I feel like the weekend should just be starting for me, but it's already over. Oh well. I won't get another chance to say goodbye, so it all is worth it.