Ethiopia 2009 - Pt. 7

Thursday morning we shopped for mattresses and blankets for the Shallom Street Ministry that we had visited on Tuesday. The kids were not there because they were out doing work organized by the director. Therefore, the actual drop-off was fast, but the process of buying the supplies took the whole morning. I awoke VERY sore in my back and shoulders from tossing and spinning so many children the previous day, so the break gave me a chance to try to stretch out the kinks.

We had lunch at a carepoint called CFI, and the kids were as nice as could be. The carepoint is in a nicer neighborhood and the house was two-story. I went to walk up the stairs and banged my head HARD against the ceiling (the ceiling/stair design was such that the ceiling height did not change to leave headroom as people begin to climb the stairs). If it had been drywall, I would have busted a hole in it, but it was cement. I was stunned for a moment and actually thought I might have broken my neck. It was tingling and in tremendous pain. The rest of the afternoon and evening I had a very hard time turning my head to the right.

Our next stop was Brother’s Church where we met some of the people in the same community. By that time, I had a migraine-level headache, on top of the intense pain in my neck and my sore shoulders and back. Every balloon I blew up made my neck feel like it was being stabbed. But, I kept going. After everyone had balloons I sat on a chair and thought I'd catch a minute or two to relax. A girl came up to me and, with a big smile, proudly showed me the stickers she had received. She asked my name, how old I was, if I had any kids, and so forth. She was probably around 7 or 8 years old and knew English pretty well. I asked her the colors of various balloons and she told me the English color as well as the Amharic. What I thought might be a 5-minute conversation turned into 30 minutes. After the first several minutes I think she could tell I was not 100% and asked how I was. I just told her I was tired (I still conversed with her as I would have if I was 100%, it was just harder to do). She smiled, took the stickers off her shirt, and gave them to me. I was floored. I could tell by the way she showed them off when we met that they were important to her. And yet, she was willing to give them away simply to brighten my day. The amazing thing is, her generosity is typical of the Ethiopian people. Most Americans would not give up a couple cups of coffee a month to FEED an orphan for a month, and this girl gave away something very special to someone with a headache. That just breaks me. As we were going to the vans, I tried my best to tell them the stickers were hers, but she insisted that I keep them. She stood there and waved at me and the rest of the team until we disappeared from view. Someone asked me recently what the number one thing I took away from the trip was. Tough question, but this girl's gesture was probably it, because she was so willing to sacrifice for others despite facing much deeper needs herself. She "took us to school."

Our final stop for the day was Kolfe, and all-boys orphanage. The term "boys" is used loosely because many are men (up to age 25). They are not turned away just because they turn 18. They know they can stay until they are able to adjust and afford to live on their own. I had good conversations with two boys. I sat on one boy's bunk as he showed me his entire photo album and spoke of each picture. I could tell it was special that someone showed an interest in him personally instead of just looking around and leaving. I spoke with another "boy" who I would guess to be around 20 yrs old. We had a great conversation about many things, then the subject turned to his lame legs, which had been that way since birth. He said he had been taught that since he was born that way, God must want him that way. I respectfully disagreed and told him that God is a perfect, loving Father. I described that even myself, as an imperfect father, would never, ever want something like that for my sons. I could tell it gave him something to consider.

We went out to eat for dinner and it took a LONG time to get served...like two hours or so. Going to bed that night was bittersweet; sweet because I needed it, but bitter because it would be our last night sleeping in Ethiopia. It seemed to go by so quickly.

Ethiopia 2009 - Pt. 6

My first couple of years as a teacher was spent at a school that was not in the best part of town. Substitute teachers were hard to find because few wanted to go there. I never had any problems. For me, respect, encouragement, clear expectations, consistent discipline, good lesson plans, and a bit of humor thrown in was all that it took. Kids whom were seen by others as problem students, I saw as possibility students. More often than not, I was able to "break through" and become the one that spurs them forward. Part of what made the previous day difficult is that these were the same kind of boys - rough around the edges, but one look into their eyes and you know there is gold inside. However, given the short amount of time, I don't think any of us "broke through." Therefore, we left with the feeling we still had more to do...there was work left unfinished.

The first place we visited on Wednesday was definitely a change of pace. It was a place called Kind Hearts and the children ranged in age from 4-10. I went all out with swinging the kids around, throwing them up in the air (they never left my hands) and hanging them upside down by their ankles. I played frisbee with the older ones and "hide-the-balloon-under-my-shirt" with the younger ones. I plum wore myself out, but it was awesome. As usual, the gifts and supplies were big hits with the kids.

In the afternoon we toured a place called Hannah's Orphanage. This was the best we had seen and served as a model for other orphanages. In fact, they even had a library and a computer room. Most of the children stay in rented houses, with the older (16-18 yr old) ones acting as head-of-households. Most are in school and shared with us their career dreams. Because of the support they are receiving, those dreams are certainly within reach.

Toward the end of the visit, I was told that the parents of a 7 yr old girl playing near us had both died of AIDS. She is HIV Positive. I watched her bounce a soccer ball back and forth with one our team members and thought about how so many take life for granted. As we were getting ready to leave, I gave her a hug. I can't explain it, but I could tell by the way she hugged me that she knows the score. And, she knows that I know, and that I know that she knows, if you follow. That hug was very special. Again, words fail me here.

Ethiopia 2009 - Pt. 5

The past couple of nights I have slept all the way through, but I have also dreamed of the needs I saw in Ethiopia, so I have awakened with a heavy heart. Today especially has been tough as my thoughts have been on this post, which will likely be the most difficult.

Our first stop was a center run by Emmanuel Church. It appeared to be a day-care type place where mothers could bring their kids for social interaction, meals and other care. Inside one of the rooms I enjoyed complimenting the children on their coloring, which was obviously something they rarely got to do. Outside, I played with several kids and helped tie up balloons to hand out. The mothers and children alike were so beautiful inside and out. This was another occasion where there were no specific kids that stuck out to me, but rather it was a chance to love on as many as possible. It was the first time that I had knowingly held a child with full-blown AIDS, and it was right as we were leaving. I simply cannot describe how that felt. I wish I could.

After lunch we visited a place called Shallom. It is a rescue center for street kids, run by a woman who, like the director I mentioned in my previous post, is famous in Heaven. In fact, she has been doing this, on her own, for 14 years. From what I understand, she has funded it herself as well. She told us that she takes the kids out and has them "work" by going out and witnessing to other street kids. Some also shine shoes. She does this to try to instill a work ethic in them as well as self-confidence. The main room, which had a dirty, splintery wood floor, is where the kids sleep. That's right - on a hardwood floor. Most of them cannot afford to go to school either.

Imagine, if you will, that you are scaling a tall cliff with no ropes. You reach a point to where you are exhausted, and your feet give way. You are holding on with only your hands, and you feel the strength leaving as your and arms begin to shake. Then, in the nick of time and out of nowhere, someone grabs your wrist and pulls you up to a ledge. You are given water, food and get some much needed strength to move on. This time, however, you are accompanied by partners who are encouraging you and sustaining you. As we talked with the director, she hinted around and said everything just short of "I'm done. I can't do this anymore." Our team left her with encouragement, hope, blankets and mattresses for the kids (which we bought and delivered on Thursday), financial assistance, and the very likely possibility of a stateside sponsor. She wept.

Here is some additional information on why her job was/is so difficult. None of the boys were physically affectionate like so many other places we have visited, and no wonder. They have lived on the streets and have had to fend for themselves, which probably consists of a pecking order, with the higher members getting first dibs on the trash heap. My guess is that they are between 9 and 12 yrs old. Most of these kids are HIV positive and many have been preyed upon by men who wait for them outside the shelter and rape them. One boy in particular had been raped multiple times by multiple people. Another boy had been beaten up and a cup was placed over his eye and then pulled off in an attempt to pull his eyeball out with the suction. His eyeball remained, but the fluid came out and his eye became useless. If you use your imagination, the implications of why someone would want his eyeball out are sickening. This is where I have a hard time remaining spiritual. If I see a parent slap a child in the grocery store, at the very least I'll give him or her an angry look, and sometimes I say something. I don't care what the child did, you don't slap a child in the face. When I imagine following one of those boys outside the property and witnessing a man attacking him, the kind of things that enter my mind are violent and scary. Forget justice, it would all be about retribution at that point...I have to stop there.

The director mentioned to us that she is trying to get out of that building and out of the area. The assistance that was given her will help her do that. I was privileged to be a witness to the virtual IV that pumped hope back into her. I hope the move happens soon.

***I'm sorry, but I failed miserably on this one. My words fall far short.

Ethiopia 2009 - Pt. 4

Lunch on Monday was a treat for me. I just happened to get to sit by someone famous. Probably not many in Addis know his name, and maybe only a handful of people in the States, but trust me, Heaven knows his name. He is the director of Hope for the Hopeless street ministry and orphanage. For several minutes our conversation centered on how we might be able to get Jay's leg treated. Yes, sometimes God heals instantaneously, but sometimes His healing power promotes recovery (which implies a process). The recovery might be through a doctor's hand one time and without a doctor's hand another. My knee doctor referred to my ACL reconstruction as his "best work" and I know the Reason why. I believe, regardless of how or through whose hands, Jay will fully recover. Bottom line, I wanted to see how I could get him into the care of God-directed hands. After that discussion, I complimented him on his care of the kids. There are ditches on both sides of the caregiver road. One side is overly permissive where the kids have no boundaries. The other is a dictatorship. Judging by the kids' good behavior and their willingness to reach out and show love, the director has found the perfect balance between the two sides. It can't be easy when those kids likely come under his care with baggage. Not only does he care for them and love them, but he has sacrificed for them. When the economic downturn happened in the States, he lost half of his support. He had to move his family out of his home and live with his in-laws in order to keep providing for the kids. Construction projects at the orphanage came to a grinding halt. Whoever ends up sponsoring the shelter and/or orphanage can rest assured that the kids could not have a better director. As I mentioned before, there is no doubt this guy is famous in Heaven, and I count it an honor to have had some time with him.

After lunch we went back to the Hope for the Hopeless orphanage where we had briefly visited Saturday night. This time we had several hours to visit. We handed out many gifts and supplies, such as hats, soccer balls, candy, coloring books, shoes...the list goes on. I spent some more time with the 17 yr old boy I had met previously until he participated in a soccer game with other boys and some of our group. I then walked around and loved on as many of the children as I could. Toward the end of the day, we were provided a snack of popcorn and coffee, then the children sang for us, and us for them. Then, just as before, we were showered with hugs, kisses, and I love you's as we headed to the vans and left. The van I was in was completely silent on the way home because it was merely our bodies present. Our minds and our hearts were still with those precious, beautiful children.

Ethiopia 2009 - Pt. 3

Sunday was rather uneventful. Apparently on Sunday the orphanages are closed. So, we went to church in the morning, but that ended up being a tour of the church building rather than a church service. In the afternoon we visited a couple museums and a zoo. In the evening we went to a restaurant and watched a musical group perform. Day 2 was in the books.

Monday morning we all were excited to find out that we were going back to the "Hope for the Hopeless" orphanage that we briefly visited on Saturday. That would be in the afternoon. In the morning, we visited Hope for the Hopeless street ministry. It is a small compound where homeless kids or kids in distress can find refuge.

As we entered the compound and began greeting the children, I was immediately drawn to a boy who was hobbling around with a walking stick. One leg was clearly nonfunctional. The majority of my time was spent with this boy and another, who just happened to be his roommate. I'll call the lame boy Jay and the other one Jerry (as a side note, I know the boys' names, but I'm not sure I have permission to make them public). Other members of the team and I played soccer with Jerry, who was playing goalie and using the gate to the compound as a goal. He was a tough kid - diving for balls on the rough cement. How many times do we take grass for granted, or get annoyed when we have to mow? A few minutes later I noticed he was not happy anymore and had gone over to stand by one of the workers. Thinking he was physically hurt, I approached them and asked, through the worker, if he had hurt himself. The worker asked him and then gave me the explanation, "He (Jerry) said that when people care for him like this, it makes him think of his mother, who died." I didn't have any words at that point; I just gave him a big, long, tight bear hug, then kissed his head. He hugged me back tightly. I decided to take a couple pics to let him see himself on the digital screen. Below is one of those pics. You can see the pain in his eyes. He smiled and then left for a while. He had gone into the living quarters and, since our team was mainly in the courtyard, I wasn't sure whether I could follow him or not. I turned my attention to Jay.

Despite being limited to the use of one leg, Jay was quite nimble. He was able to climb trees and was also very coordinated with the walking stick. I felt led to ask him if I could pray for him. He walked over to a place he could sit down, and pulled up his pant leg. I didn't expect to see what I saw. I'm not a doctor, but it seemed to me that his leg was badly broken (I'm talking both bones, at an angle of 50-60 degrees). As I prayed, I felt the tangible power of God go into his leg. I can count on one hand the times I've actually FELT the healing power of God, and I believe Jay felt it too. After I prayed, I tracked down the director and asked for more detail. Jay's leg was indeed broken, and it had happened two years ago. TWO YEARS!! In addition, the director said that if he falls or hits it wrong, he gets "wounds" (meaning the bone(s) break through the skin). I was floored. Something that could/can be fixed so easily in the states had stolen two uninhibited play years from this precious boy. I just wasn't sure how to react. Part of me was very angry, part of me just wanted to bawl, but before I could decide how to react, there was Jerry again, tapping my arm. He gave me a drawing that he had made, and on the top was "I love you Mark." I smiled, told him I loved him too and then gave him another hug. Between Jay and Jerry, I received 6 drawings. Look me up 50 years from now, and I will still have them. They are priceless.

By this time, people had gone back to the living quarters, so I followed Jay and Jerry back there. It was at this time that I first found out they were roommates. They had a small, dark room with a bunk bed and a bathroom. It reminded me of a prison cell, but it was much smaller and less clean. They were both proud to show me their beds and wanted pictures taken. They pointed out various belongings and I smiled and complimented them (they knew a little bit of English - "very nice" was understood). Despite what little these boys had, they were the sweetest boys you could imagine. I wanted to give them something, so I found a couple sheets of paper and wrote them both the same note. It was something like, "I am very happy to meet you and spend time with you. You are valuable and God has a great plan for your life. I love you." When I gave them the notes, they made a beeline to one of the workers so he could translate it. As he read, their faces lit up like they had received a million bucks. We hugged again and then all the children sang for us. After the singing, Jay and Jerry, still beaming, came up and asked, "Tomorrow?" I had to tell them no, we weren't coming back tomorrow because we had other places to visit. Their smiles faded a bit. Everyone said goodbye and we left. On my Facebook page I described the kids as being "Easy to love, hard to leave." This was one of the prime examples.

*** As a side note, I did not feel it would be appropriate for me to ask Jay if I could take a picture of his leg. However, I did ask the director to see if he could take one and email it to me. Once I have it, I plan to hook up with another team member and start a fund raising campaign to get Jay's leg fixed. Thus far, the director hasn't sent me anything. I will keep you all posted.

Ethiopia 2009 - Pt. 2

It was Saturday, April 18th, and time to "get to it." The first orphanage we visited was Abenezer's. I was about 3-4 hours away. When we got there, the kids were seated in the middle of a large field. There were huge smiles on their faces and it was easy to see that they were bursting with curiosity. Taking pictures and showing them the digital screen was very fascinating to them. I'm sure the vast majority rarely got such a treat. It was a little awkward at first for two reasons. First, it seemed we were just killing time until the presentation(s) started, which was anyone's guess. So, we didn't know whether we had 2 minutes to play with them or 20. Secondly, as a former schoolteacher, my physical interaction with students was limited to handshakes, high-fives, and shoulder-pats. Hugging children or picking them up is a good way to start a scandal in U.S. public schools. It took a couple hours for me to realize it was okay here. I performed a couple "magic" tricks (like the one where you pretend to take off the end of your finger) and then had fun showing them how to do it. I also juggled three rocks for them, which was a big hit. I taught some how to juggle with two rocks and they soaked up the praise and clapping from their peers and me. The activities started with a presentation from Steve and Debbie, pastors from Georgia whose church sponsors the entire orphanage. One building was almost completed and a second had been started. It was a blessing to see how they were touched by meeting the kids face to face and seeing firsthand the work that was being done. Next, the kids were divided by age group and, one group at a time, were fed an Easter feast inside the finished building. We continued to play with the kids in the groups that were waiting. When everyone was done eating, we started handing out gifts. Each child received a backpack along with six notebooks and a pen and pencil. Without these supplies, the kids can't attend school, but now they will get to go. In addition to the school supplies, they also received blankets and kazoos. They were overjoyed and very grateful. We left around 2:30 or 3:00 and headed to lunch.

Lunch was provided in the home of the mother of one of the translators who accompanied us. It was the first time I had Ethiopian food and it was awesome. After the meal they provided the traditional Ethiopian coffee ceremony. They roasted the beans over glowing charcoal, then took the crackling beans around for everyone to inhale the smoke. The whole process took over an hour. I think me waiting an hour for coffee would be like my wife watching someone at a candy store make fudge from scratch. Despite the enormous need for patience, the end result was delicious.

After lunch we headed back toward Addis. There was another orphanage we were to visit and time was limited. We got there shortly before dark and only spent 20 minutes or so. I lost it at this place. It was called "Hope for the Hopeless." I mentioned earlier that I was a little hesitant to be as physical as I wanted at the first orphanage. The kids at this place didn't give me any choice. They crowded around me and hugged my legs tightly. They grabbed my hands and arms and just clung to me, squeezing my fingers and smiling ear to ear. Most of these kids had no family, and one might expect that their hearts would be hesitant to open up and show love for fear that their love would not be reciprocated. On the contrary, to them, it seemed worth the risk. Rest assured, there were no "polite" hugs like so many in the U.S. give. These were unbridled, whole-body/whole-being hugs full of reckless abandon, as if it were the last time they would hug someone. We took a very short tour of the place and one of the older boys proudly showed me his bunk. I told him it was very nice and he smiled. For the rest of the tour, he held my hand. I had learned on the way over the it is common for men to hold the hand of their best friends. It's nothing sexual at all, simply an act of friendship. I learned he was seventeen and was the oldest one there. I thought, "Wow, if I held the hand of a 17 yr old boy as a teacher in the states, I'd be fired in an instant and would have to register with the state." By the time the tour was finished, it was completely dark, and I was glad. Glad because I could not control the tears streaming down my face as the kids once again showered me/us with squeezes, hugs, kisses and "I love you's." First day, and I was already messed up.

(Pictured below is the 17 yr old, whom I got to spend more time with on a subsequent visit)

Ethiopia 2009 - Pt. 1

I'm sure you've all been in that place of frustration where you've taken what you think are awesome pictures of breathtaking scenery. Then, to your dismay, you look at the pictures and realize they fall far short of truly capturing the enormity of what you saw. That's where I am right now, not only with pictures, but also with words. Was I touched by Africa? Absolutely! Can I adequately describe what I saw and felt using mere words? So far, I've tried some rough drafts and have fallen waaaay short. I guess the only thing to do is try my best. I will start with more general background information and then maybe I'll find words for the rest. Forgive me if these thoughts are random and lack a logical flow.

First and foremost, THANK YOU to everyone who prayed. Have you ever gone on a trip and it seemed like everything fit together such that you would describe it as "easy?" That's what I felt and saw. Suffice it to say that the prayer cover was obvious.

For me, there was no culture shock, other than trying to figure out whether any "rules of the road" exist. Numerous times drivers would miss each other and pedestrians by mere inches. We never hit anyone, although the other van had a small accident. Nobody has insurance there, so the process is for all witnesses to crowd around the scene and be judge and jury on who was to blame. The guilty party pays for the damages on the spot. The process took maybe 20-30 minutes, and finally the other driver was determined to be guilty. I found out that there is an honor system in Ethiopia. If someone is dishonest, they are shamed and disgraced. In addition, if someone tries to steal something, the owner shouts "Leba!" ("thief" in Amharic) and there will be a mad rush of bystanders to catch the person. In the U.S. it's the opposite. We pretend we didn't hear, or if we do help and the thief gets a skinned knee from being tackled, we'll be sued.

The people of Ethiopia are beautiful inside and out. They are very kind, generous, accommodating, polite, you name it. At one church where we played with children, one girl gave me the stickers that she received. Before we left, I told her they were hers and I wanted her to keep them, but she insisted she wanted me to keep them. I also received some drawings that I will always treasure.

The Ethiopian food was delicious. I think I personally had Ethiopian food 40% of the time (sometimes we ate at restaurants where it was our choice). I had various dishes of beef, chicken, lamb and goat, as well as the engera (flat, sponge-like Ethiopian bread that is used as an edible utensil).

The countryside of Ethiopia was downright beautiful. I'll try to post some pics, but as I mentioned earlier, they fall far short of doing justice to what we saw. One would think, by looking at all the agriculture, that Ethiopia would not be so poor. However, even though there is rain, often the rain does not come when it is most needed. Crops grow and turn green, but do not get rain when they are supposed to produce fruit, so it is like having a green corn stalk with no corn.

The city of Addis was busy with heavy traffic and vendors selling vegetables, goats, sheep, chickens, and cows. Ordering "take out" consists of stopping your vehicle by a herd of goats, paying the shepherd, and loading the goat inside the van or tying it on top. I never saw someone load a full sized cow. That would have been interesting, to say the least. There were also delivery donkeys carrying large loads of whatever merchandise. We even saw one camel, which apparently is rare. The one thing that did take some getting used to was the smoke. Trash is burned and there were times when the smoke was quite heavy and putrid.

I guess that does it for background info from my head. Next I'll do my best to describe things from my heart.

I'm Going to Africa!!

Here's a tip: If you are applying for a passport that you need soon, and the post office lady assures you they are ahead of schedule so there's no need to expedite, pay for the expedited processing anyway. I know the letter below doesn't give much time (sent it out on Saturday), but my passport just came in last week. I covet your prayers for me, my family and my trip team as I step out on this mission...

****

Dear friends,

I have some VERY exciting news - I'm going on a missions trip to Africa!! Missions has been on my heart for many years, but due to work schedules/projects, I have not had opportunities to go on overseas trips. I have been active on the local mission field, but I have always wanted to do more. Almost two years ago I started my own technology business, partly to give myself the flexibility to go on trips such as this one. So, needless to say, I am thrilled to be finally stepping out and doing what's in my heart.

I will be going to Ethiopia from April 16-25th to serve with Children’s HopeChest (hopechest.org) as they visit several orphanages. Many children there feel abandoned and rejected. With no one to offer them God’s hope and practical help, their chances to survive and live a full life of faith, family, education, and work are slim. Without intervention, many will end up in crime and/or prostitution, while others commit suicide. Through offering resources and relationships to children in need, Children’s HopeChest is making a difference in the lives of some of the 143 million orphans in the world...one child at a time.

My mission is this: I am going to be a dad to every kid I come across...smiling at the children, holding them, teaching them, doing crafts, singing songs...basically just loving on them and giving each and every one a basis for hope. Every person has a divine destiny, regardless of skin color, social status or geographic area. Maybe one of the children I hold will see the love in my eyes, realize that he/she is valuable to me and to God, and gain the courage to pursue his/her destiny. Maybe that child will become a leader, bring hope to surrounding regions and even change nations. There is so much that can be accomplished through a simple act of love and obedience.

I am writing to ask you to consider helping in the following ways:

1) Cover me in prayer while I am ministering to these precious children (and pray for a safe trip to/from Africa). Pray for God's supernatural favor and blessing to cover our entire team.
2) Prayerfully consider helping me financially with the trip. The cost of the trip is $2,600 and the money is due by this Friday, March 27th. It is tax-deductible and the instructions are at the bottom of this letter. Know this - I would never ask you to do something I wasn't willing to do myself. This trip has cost me much more than what the trip costs due to the business I have turned down in order to go. So, anything you could do to help would be very much appreciated.

In His service,
Mark D

Jack (aka Jesus) - Part 3

Imagine, if you will, that you are watching TV and Jesus is in the room with you. You are switching channels and happen to land on one showing Jesus speaking words of great importance that you have never heard before. He beams because he knows you are watching and listening to him. Would you change the channel and keep surfing? Hardly.

Now for a scenario that you don't have to imagine because it has likely happened to you. You're tired and just want to veg a bit. You are switching TV channels and happen to land on one of those programs that show malnourished children in underdeveloped areas of the world. What do you do? Do you change the channel?

Guess what - those scenarios are one and the same. Jesus said, "Inasmuch as you have done it (or not done it) to the least of these, my brethren, you have done it (or not done it) to Me." How many times have YOU switched the channel and ignored Jesus?

The excuses are many...Wouldn't it be easier not to get involved? Does the little that I could do really matter? I already sponsor one child and that's all I can do. If I don't pay attention, I don't have to think about it, and maybe it will go away. Can I really trust the organization(s)? It looks like a propaganda machine. What if I opened myself up and something didn't work out the way it was supposed to? The list goes on and on.

I had no idea that Jack's story would not be the happy ending that I might have expected. It hurt. There were questions. Frustrations. Sadness. I could have saved myself much of that if I had sheltered myself and looked out for my own comfort , if I had just left well enough alone and contacted my supervisor when Jack came back. But is that what Jesus did?

My Bible says Jesus died for us while we were yet sinners. He emptied Himself without any guarantee that we would make the conscious choice to accept His sacrifice. Wouldn't it have been easier to stick with the comfort of heaven and being present with God? He left His comfort zone, paid the ultimate price of being tortured and killed, and yet some still reject Him. Why did He do it? Because we are worth the risk.

Jack was worth the risk.

Yes, there is a risk to opening up oneself and stepping out of the comfort zone. Not everyone will give us accolades, people may ridicule us, things may not go as planned. People may call us crazy for loving others the way Jesus did - a dangerous love that is offered with reckless abandon.

He who shelters and protects his life will lose it, but he who gives his life to helping others will find it.

True living is only found by giving our lives for others. True love gives to others when you may not get anything back. I determine to live sacrificially and love dangerously.

Jack (aka Jesus) - Part 2

I found out from a coworker that the man's name was Jack. The fire that took so much from him physically also took the lives of his wife and children. I called him by name the next several times he came to order food and also helped him bag up the food and steady his drink. A couple times when I had money on me I covered it for him.

One night after work I saw Jack walking along the road near the store. I pulled over and got out of the car. Finally, a chance to witness to him about the love of God and the price Jesus paid for him. However, as soon as I started telling him that God loved him, he became furious and raised both hands toward heaven (if he had fingers, I knew which ones would be up). The spit and snot flew as he exclaimed two words that obviously were meant to be "F___ God!" My heart sank. He started walking away and I walked after him, surprised that he wasn't more receptive to someone who had treated him with respect and dignity. Finally, I realized he wasn't going to have anything to do with me, and I let him go.

A couple nights later, I saw Jack again. He seemed to be struggling with something. I pulled over, got out of my car and said hi to him. He had a cigarette in his mouth and gave me an open matchbook. It was cold and windy. Instead of waiting for me to strike the match and hold it up to him, he leaned down as I was striking the match. I exclaimed, "Be careful, I don't want to burn you." Then I realized what I had said. "Mark, you stupid IDIOT! Of all the things to say!" I couldn't believe I had said it, but I moved on and lit his cigarette. In my opinion, it was better to consider it no big deal and go on than it would be to try to backpedal and apologize. As soon as the cigarette was lit, he nodded a thank you and took off walking like he had a couple nights prior. I got back in my warm car and prayed for him.

I didn't see Jack the next day, or the next. A week went by, then two. I began to be hopeful that he had found somewhere to stay. I still lived with my parents and there were no bedrooms available, nor did I know of any shelters in the area. Hopefully he was okay. Several days later the same coworker who had told me Jack's name informed me that he had jumped in front of a moving truck and killed himself.

Maybe you thought this was going to be a good story. Maybe you thought it was going to be a testimony. Maybe you thought you were going to read a happy ending. I certainly did, so the harsh reality that not every story has a happy ending hit me hard. Very hard. I don't like to feel like I failed. And, I sure as heck don't want to wonder whether I might have contributed to the story's tragic ending. Those are questions that can eat at someone. Those are the thoughts that haunt. Those are the places where life gets uncomfortable, and life is not supposed to be uncomfortable, right?

Wrong.