Saturday, February 07, 2009

The Purging Begins

Ever reach that breaking point of emotion or frustration (or both) when you are not sure whether to yell at the top of your lungs or fall down and weep (or both)? I have been there for about three months, but have been traveling toward that breaking point for years. The one year project I mentioned in an earlier post got cut short at 6 months (Jan 30th). It could not have come at a better time. Long story, but I'm completely spent. This past week I took care of some high priority to-do items, one of which was to cast out the lines for my next project. Now, I regroup. I desperately need a time of solace and renewal. That renewal will occur as I pray/fast, feed on Scripture and books that rock my spirit, and write (blog posts, songs, etc). So, I managed to get a great rate ($20/day) on an extended-stay hotel a mile from my home, where I will stay during the day and let God speak. I am reminded of Margaret Becker's song "Find Me" because that's where I am right now. I am seeking and listening.

I'm gonna move on down to Elliston
Let my hair grow wild and free
Rent a second story studio
Find the other side of me
I'm gonna sit out on the edge of the fire escape
Feel a little destitute
Search for feelings that will help me remember
The love that I had for You
Find me, find me
I'll wait for You
Find me, find me
I'll wait for You
I'm gonna give away my stereo
Give away my T.V.
I'm going back to essentials, a chair and a lamp
And the Book that You wrote to me
You see, I'm looking for the You that used to speak so clear
I'm looking for the me that had a heart to hear
And I'm looking for the passion that help me her
On the edge
CHORUS
You see, I'm looking for the me that I used to know
I'm looking for the love that was out of control
'Cause I feel a little cold here in the afterglow
CHORUS
Find me, find me
I'll, I'll wait for You

1 Comments:

At 2/07/2009, Blogger wilsonian said...

Praying for you, Mark.

It's a great gift you're giving yourself.

 

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