Wednesday, May 23, 2007

Moving Closer - Part 1

A couple weeks before Aidan was born I started having dreams about something bad happening to him. The dreams plagued me and concerned me greatly. It is hard to describe, but I know the difference between the nervousness that may come with change and an alarm going off in my spirit. This was the latter. Needless to say, I took a step back to see where my faith was in terms of God's covering over me and my family.

I am 100% totally and absolutely convinced that God holds us in His hands, shelters us, protects us, and gives his angels charge over us...IF we are not holding on to sin patterns and IF we are willing and obedient to God's direction for our lives. I found myself to be fine in the first area. I am certainly not perfect, but I serve a merciful God who sees me righteous as Jesus because of the blood of Jesus' that covers me. I have a good position with my heavenly Father because of His grace and the price that Jesus paid for me. In the second area, however, I was not so confident. I believe with all my heart that God's purpose for my life is to teach His Word to others using various media. That is my ultimate passion - to help people in practical ways but also sow seeds of eternal value in their lives. So for me, I wanted to be absolutely sure that if I was not supposed to "move out" into that arena yet, at least I was taking steps to prepare. Here's another angle: If 100 of the most spiritual people in the world said they were going to pray that if I am NOT supposed to have some sort of teaching ministry that God would take my son home, my response would be "Pray away!" There is simply no doubt in my mind.

As with any new venture, I am not foolish enough to think that I know it all. Proverbs states that in a multitude of counselors there is safety. A week or so before Aidan's birth I intended to go to a counseling appointment with my pastor, but he had to cancel at the last minute. For me, however, that took the responsibility out of my court and into least for the time being. Despite good intentions (I think) on his part and friendly reminders on mine, the appointment has not yet been rescheduled. The important thing in my opinion was that I took the next step.

More soon...getting too long for one post.


At 5/23/2007, Blogger karen said...

I had those dreams before my sons' births. I think it's normal. Dreams of abductions, etc.
We don't know the path God has for our children; they are His, not ours. We're the caretakers.
Looking forward to seeing what He has in store for you! I pray for His guidance and leading!


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